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2006-12-14 - A Big Test
2003-07-03 - Sometimes it Takes the Holy Spirit Himself to Whisper in your Ear and Tell you How to Like Make a Big Big Problem into like a Little Silly Problem and Let Me Tell You when God the Father Solves Your Problems for you That's Something Special
2003-06-12 - Sometimes It Just Takes Blocking Out Your Mother's Screams Before You Can Hear the Holy Spirit Speak in Your Heart and Tell You that You Deserve to be Resuced By a Prince who is Also A Model with Like Four Per Cent Body Fat
2003-05-22 - This is the Story of How I Almost Killed Billy, but Nobody Would Have Noticed His Dead Body in that Dump and Even if They Did, They Would Have Thought One of the Thousands of Mexicans Did It So It Would Have Been a Perfect Crime or Something
2003-05-07 - Today I Learned the Most Valuable Lesson the Holy Spirit Has Ever Taught Me in my Whole Life and It all Started Because I was Totally Open to Hearing His Word and That's a Lesson you Could Really Use
2003-03-28 - This Hospital Sucks and the Nurses Here Don't Have Any Idea What They're Doing at All Which Means That Customer Service is Totally in the Crapper and If I Get Even More Sick I'm Totally Suing Them Which I Can Do as a Lawyer
2003-03-24 - Ok. So, I Totally Wrote This One While I Was Like On Cyst Shrinking Narcotics So I Was A Little Out of It or Something So You'll Just Have to Get Over It, Ok? I Mean, I'm Sick, Ok?
2003-03-18 - I Really, Really Just Need a Vacation From all the Stress of my Life and if I Don't Get to Lay in a Hospital Bed for the Rest of the Week and Just Have the Remote in my Hand and Totally Get Taken Care of Then There is Something Seriously Wrong
2003-03-12 - I'm Not Even Supposed to Know Anything About My Shower, So Why Don't you Take Your Stupid Jealous Feelings and Get Rid of Them Right Now, Becuase Can I Help it if I'm Marrying a Model in 170 Days?
2003-03-10 - There is a Lesson to be Learned in Like Everything That Models Do and This Weekend I Totally Learned that Sometimes a Pain in the Anus Can Lead to a Total Strengthening of a Model's Love for his Fiance
2003-03-03 - This is a Tale of Two Happies that Totally Add Up to be Like a Really Really Really Hot Gigantic Happy which is Like Totally Related to My Happiness that People Only Feel When They're Marrying a Model
2003-02-25 - Those are My Things and They are to be Used for My House and if she Can't Understand That Then She Is Totally More Stupid Than I Even Imagined She Was, You Know What I Mean?
2003-02-24 - I Feel Like This is a Test of My Faith From God Because Only He Could Think Up Something So Painful to Like Put a Christian Through When He is Testing How Much They Love Him and I Will Not Fail Him Even Though Lee is a Total Bitch to Me.
2003-02-14 - Sometimes When I Get as Stressed Out as a Girl Can Get Then I Start to Feel Like I Have to do Something About These Stressful Feelings ASAP, Which Means As Soon As Possible, or I'm Going to Like Die or Something.
2003-02-11 - I Have Been Trying to Focus on the Good News Which is Totally First in this Entry, But She is Such a Total Hater of Me that I Can't Stop Thinking About the Totally Horrible Thing She Did Unto Me Which I Tell You About After the Great First Part
2003-02-05 - All I Wanted Was to Hear What Katie Couric Had to Say About Flower Arrangements at Trendy Weddings But What that Weather Guy Said Has Totally Ruined My Life and I Might Never Be the Same Now that Billy is With Jesus
2003-01-31 - The Lemonade in this Story Did Not Come From Actual Lemons, But it Came From the Lemon and Sugar That Billy and I Produce As Part of our Eternal Love, Which Is All the More Strong Because Billy is Totally Modelesque!
2003-01-30 - Sometimes I Am Right and They Are Wrong and They Will All Be Sorry When I Shock Them With our Shocking Secret Surprise at My Wedding Which is My Wedding Not Hers So She Can Just Get in a Car Wreck and Die For All I Care After the Way She Treated Me
2003-01-28 - Sometimes A Girl Turns to You For Help But you Totally Miss Her Point and Embarass Her in Your World Wide Column That Millions of People All Over the World Read and I am Not the Whore You Made Me Out to Be, You Bitch
2003-01-24 - I Can Not Even Believe That Some People Are So Selfish When They Know I am Getting Married and They are Already Married So They Totally Know How Stressful Getting Married Is, But They Don't Even Care
2003-01-16 - When You Shoot Off Your Big Mouth In An Email To Me I'm Totally Going to Get You Back And That's A Lesson I Would Have Thought He'd Know But I Guess He Didn't But He Knows It Now
2003-01-14 - I am Feeling So Mad Right Now that You Should Not Even Be Around Me Because I Could Totally Hurt You Or Something Or Maybe I'll Just Explode Like They Do in the Cartoons
2003-01-13 - Sometimes My Mom Can Totally Be Such a B-Word that I Totally Don't Even Know How to Take It Because I Know She Loves Me But It Feels LIke She's Totally Ruining My Wedding and My Life and That Makes Me Hate Her But Not Really
2003-01-09 - This is the Story of My First Christmas Present that Billy Ever Got Me and Even Though I Spent Like SOOOOOO Much More on His Present, What he Gave Me Was From Him and So it is Totally Special Unto Me
2002-12-20 - When a Girl Wants to Buy her Fiance a Present for Christmas and She Goes Over Budget a Little, but Totally Found a Good Deal on the Present She Bought Him, Then Her Mom Should Butt Out of It Because It's None of the Mom's Business, Ok?
2002-12-18 - This is About How Billy and I are Totally Meant to be Together Because We Totally have the Like Same Taste in Art and We Totally are Going to have the Best Christmas Ever Because we are Toghether and Also Because Models Never have Bad Holidays
2002-12-15 - This is the Story of How I got Billy an Early Chirstmas Present Which was so Much Fun, But We Didn't Get Any of our Wedding Work Done And I Am Totally Going to be Writing a Letter to Someone About That!
2002-11-27 - Sometimes I am the Only Sane One Around Me Except for my Mom Who is Totally Ruining Every One of my Magical Holiday Season Memory Making Opportunities on My First Holiday Season with Billy
2002-11-23 - Like the Bible Says, a Stitch in Time Will Save Nine and I Totally Tried to Heed that Message, but Sometimes You Just Have to do What You Have To Do. Plus I Think Billy is Totally an Artist or Something
2002-11-20 - Sometimes It Takes a Little Push, but Doing the Right Thing Can Make You Feel So Good You Almost Forget You Hate Your Sister-In-Law and Wish She Would Drop Dead
2002-11-18 - This is About the Time that My Love for Billy Totally Won Out Over the Invasion of a Girly-Man Half-Model Who I Think May Be Trying to Break Us Up But He Will Never Be Able to Break Us Up Because Our Love is Eternal
2002-11-01 - I Think the Whole World is Out to Get Me Sometimes and This is the Story of One of the Times My Happiness was Totally Brought Down by Gossip and Sin and I wasn't Even Doing Anything, You Know?
2002-10-25 - I Have Big Big News That You Totally Will Not Even Believe and It All Occured to Me in a Flash From Heaven This Morning and There is so Much Work to be Done I Can't Even Stand It!
2002-10-24 - This Is the Story of What Happened to Me at Ambercrombie and Fitch on the Day I Bled Out on the Table at the Doctor's Office and Just Needed a Break from the Pressures of My Life Which Billy is the Only One That Understands
2002-10-21 - Can You Even Believe that My Fiance is Trying to Push His Way into my Appointment with the Lady Doctor When Those Appointments are Totally Private and for Family Members Only? Me Neither.
2002-10-16 - I Can't Imagine Anything More Trashy than a Dragon Tattoo I mean Why Don't you Just Stop Shaving Your Armpits and Plucking Your Eyebrows or Something
2002-10-15 - Today I Learned a Valuable Lesson About Happiness and Joy and Sharing and it is that if You Want to Spread Joy by Planning a Special Surprise for your Co-Workers You Should Always Always Always Check the Calandar First
2002-10-11 - What Happened to me on the Day I Decided to Go Out for Lunch and Get a Salad When What I Should Have Done was Stay in and Eat Saltines At Work Because You Never Know Who You WIll Run Into When You Go Out
2002-10-07 - The Forces of Darkness Seem to be Pressing in Around my Wedding and Trying to get me Down but at Least that Bitch Won't be in Any of the Pictures
2002-10-04 - I Feel Like I am the Only One who Understands the Stress of my Wedding and Even My Best Friend is Totally Stressing Me Out
2002-10-03 - I Got my Princess Perfect Wedding Dress and You Won't Believe it but I'm Gonna be a Model and Model with My Hot Honey!
2002-09-30 - Why My Brother is Totally Out of My Wedding and Will Not Get to be Part of the Most Special Day of my Whole Life Now
2002-09-26 - My Princess Perfect Proposal Story That Still Makes Me Cry When I Think of That Perfect Night
2002-09-25 - I Can't Believe This is Happening to Me and My Fiance Is Causing All This Pain I Feel
2002-09-25 - An Introduction, oh, and have you heard that I'M GETTING MARRIED?

 About Me:

"I do." JUST PRACTICING! ahahaa-haa! Anyway, I am keeping this journal to remind myself of all the wonderful meaningful moments as they occur to me on my way to the altar. I got my ring, ma!